Monday, 2 November 2015

The car u drive ~ Part 83

Lebih kurang 10 tahun yang lalu - cepatnya masa tu kan. Dari terperap dalam emel, letak sini boleh juga baca2, boleh sharing. Pahala berterusan. Tak dapat buat baik banyak, buat baik sikit pun jadilah.

tarikh emel ; 16 April 2006

Alfa
Passionate and romantic, you fancy yourself. A bit unreliable, and can be
eccentric too. You hate BMW drivers, but think and act just like them.

Audi
You would like to believe you are part of the new generation that is
caring, environmentally conscious and family-orientated. Actually quite
boring; nothing more than a glorified wuss. Will one day probably drive a
Mercedes, but you still sometimes wonder if you shouldn't have bought that
Bee-Em.

BMW
Self-centered, ambitious, dynamic and assertive. Can be a big show-off pig.
Likes impressing too. Yuppies and cudgels past sell-by date. You think you
will be CEO one day. Actually an office weenie that thinks you are God's
gift.

Daewoo
Faceless, subservient and demure (except for Matiz drivers). To you, a good
deal is to work from nine to five, get nothing for it, and still say thank
you. And then you wonder why you don't have money for a time after hours.


Fiat
Cute self-confident girls climbing the corporate ladder with ball breaking
as their hidden agenda. Will take everything you own if she divorces you.

Ford
You still live in the 70's, trying to cope with the 90's (don't even
mention the millennium). A loyal, diligent worker but baffled by office
politics and labor policies. Next car will probably also be a Ford.

Honda
You aspire to drive a BMW. You are an opinionated pain-in-the-butt. The
ultimate suffragette, or the boss's girlfriend (male or female!).

Isuzu
You like the smell of diesel and have secret fantasy of being a truck
driver.

Hyundai /Kia
Quite progressive, intelligent and practical. But misguided. The kind of
person who will suggest a sub-committee to find solutions to what the
committee couldn't. You will always maintain that a Korean car is better
than any Japanese model.

Jeep
You would like to believe you are living the American dream and just love
the great outdoors. The closest you get to it is by watching Days of Our
Lives and the Adventure Channel.


Land Rover
You are a designer person with a designer life, who always pays too much
for everything. Designer mud comes free with the badge. You're a closet
colonial racist and have fantasies about the Queen. If you have a
Freelander, it was probably a break-up gift from your ex.

Mazda
A Ford driver with less money. Mostly staid boring with no image and less
imagination. Lots of retired people drive Mazda's. You're in the way and
should get off the road.

Mercedes-Benz
Responsible, immaculate and conservative. Boring CEO clones with too much
money, or the office super-geek who can't remember what it's like to have
fun. Definitely not dating material.


Nissan
Good, solid, responsible, loyal office-fodder. You like to travel and
maintain that you can sell ice to the Eskimos. Favorite answer: "It's a
company car."


Opel
Wannabe Schumachers. Would like a VW, but fell for the bumf about German
engineering. Always in a rush, but never get anything done. Kicks BMW 3
series butts because they can. Spend all their money on trying to keep it
going.


Pajero
Not as label-conscious as your Land Rover counterpart, but still suckered
into believing in the ultimate Paris-to-Dakar, African adventure. You drive
through puddles to create your own designer mud. You believe you've made
the grade, but everyone else knows you've got a long way to go.


Peugeot
Thinks France is the best country in the world and bores everybody with
your limited French knowledge and tales of the Louvre and the Sourbonne.


Porsche
Smalldi!k


Renault
An eccentric who likes doing things the wrong way around. Usually the one
who asks all the silly questions at staff meetings. You fervently believe
you have flair, but it's less than that of a French cookbook. Most probably
gay.


Ssangyong
A make-believe fool, because you'd like a Pajero but can't afford it. Don't
actually know that the engines are made in India and not in Germany


Toyota
Although there are thousands of them, you mostly can't spot them in their
zero-image cars. Toyotas are good, reliable cars and are bought by a wide
variety of people who have zero personality to go with their cars and are
basically chicken-shit scared people who will never take chances and will
therefore be driving Toyotas forever.
The most zero-image car in the world? ... a white Corolla


Volkswagen
Highly overrated for dependability cars since the days of the Beetle, but
they do have a good re-sale value. Usually practical, sensible people who
like to drive fast where nobody can see them. They are usually loyal to
their brand to the point of irritation due to the fact that they lost their
virginity on a Beetle's back seat.

Volvo
As square and safe as the car


Proton:
"Unoriginal, uncreative copycats, who like to blast their in-car stereo
system so that they can't hear any rattles from the doors and dashboard.
The models define status, which means a Perdana driver is always thought to

be financially better than a Wira driver, but of course this is not usually
the case as all Malaysians have the same amount of financial crisis. 70% of
them drive their Protons fast when they probably shouldn't. 99% of them buy

Protons because of its easy financing. 100% of them say they buy because
they are patriotic, out of which 90% are lying."


Ferrari:
"Designers who don't drive as good as they design. Mostly fashion designers

who think Italian, eat Italian and speak Italian, but they are probably
British or American [censored] holes"


Lamborghini:
"Let's face it, nobody keeps a Lambo forever. Stinking millionaires who
sell their Lamborghini only a year after they buy it, just to impress their
grandchildren, "Granpa used to own a Lamborghini once, look at this 30 year
old picture. My hair was as full as its V12 engine back then"

Skoda:
"Tasteless continental freak"

Rover:
"Want a Honda, but don't like Japs, so they buy the British version"

Perodua:
"Favorite reason ? "I love small cars!" Unspoken reason ? "I can't afford a
Proton"

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